it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
