I heard we made out
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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