We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
