I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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