If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
