Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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