don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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