WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
