you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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