Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
