Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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