So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
