Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
