I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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