you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
