So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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