I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
