He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
