I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
