New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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