Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
