its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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