I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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