Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
