I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize