Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
