i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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