You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
