so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
