Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
handjob tips. give me some.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
