new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dicks are not precious.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
