they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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