If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
