Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
