He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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