Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
