Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
