Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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