I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
