well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize