How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well you can't waste a boner
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
