chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
