I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
