I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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