Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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