oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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