The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
