He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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