yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
