Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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