what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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