hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have already put on my inside pants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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