i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
