So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
