This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
