It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Still dying that you shit outside
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
