..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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