I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
