Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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