you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
