Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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