i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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