She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
