uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize