You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
