and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You've changed since you got that strap on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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