haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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