i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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