So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
