So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize