I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
