I must be too annoying 4 u.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
