Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lo siento on account of my penis...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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