you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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