i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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