I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize