apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
