hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
