I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
