He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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