physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
