Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
