true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
