wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize