Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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