I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
