don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
